Call it Schadenfreude if you must, but this is pretty funny. And if you've ever have a complaint against America (which is close to impossible, but hey, even we admit we're not perfect) you have to admit at least we don't recycle our covers. Mens Fitness, the Bible of six-pack abs and fancy digital gizmos, has been caught recycling a cover from 2007. (On the left is the 2007 version; on the right, their cover this month.) Cf: Six-Pack Abs!: See Results in Just 9 Days. Granted, that's on pretty much every men's magazine's cover, but it doesn't stop there: Dress for More Sex; Gain Muscle, Lose Pounds (Tap Your Secret Source); Eat Better, Think Smarter, and 1,293 blah, blah, blah. Their editor said it was intentional, as a way of "branding" the magazine. Gawker notes that there are just four templates for the covers since 07. That certainly must make layout meetings easier. (But couldn't they have even changed it to 1,294?) Next week in America:Dress for More Ecclesiastical Success; Gain Consolation, Lose Desolation (Tap Your Secret Source--God); Ora Better, Labora Smarter; and 1,293 Ways to Spice Up Your Homilies!
Now, how did you catch this, Fr. Martin? From casual coincidence or close surveillance of Men's Health, ha ha?
Dress for More Ecclesiastical Success (RED SHOES THE RAGE); Gain Consolation, Lose Desolation (Tap Your Secret Source-CHANNEL God); Ora Better, Labora Smarter; (CONVERSATIO NO MATTER) and 1,293 Ways to Spice Up Your Homilies INSTANTLY!
A spoof issue for April Fool's has great possibilities.
Meanwhile, here's a little thing I came up with this past summer:
In today's world, keeping your soul healthy and pleasing before God can be difficult! Introducing sanctifying grace - its long-lasting, habitual, Christoform, quasiformal [shout-out to Rahner] justifying action heals your soul and divinizes it, all the way to the tips of its faculties. Your free, unmerited gift, with any baptism... at your local Catholic parish.
And for those times when temptation catches up with you, look for all-new actual grace, to help you perform those hard-to-do salutary acts! Now available in both medicinal and elevating classifications.
"Maybe she's born with it... maybe it's supernatural!"
--
...Sometime I'll have to share another thing a friend and I cooked up that all spun off of, "Ask your pastor if the extraordinary form is right for you!"
7 Hot Tips for Keeping Your Soul in a State of Grace!
10 Ways to Keep Your Guardian Angel Satisfied
Eight Things Confessors Wish Lay People Knew
Your Ultimate Condign Merit Plan
Maximize Your Matins With Our Exclusive Breviary-Booster Guide!
Find Out If You're Predestined! (Trent's Decrees Aside)
Improve Your Orandi, Straighten Out Your Credendi!
Lay People Say the Darndest Things
EXCLUSIVE EXPOSE: St. Ignatius of Loyola's Inquisition Trauma!!!
Reduce Your Potency into Act!
Reach the Spiritual Marriage in Just Seven Easy Mansions!
Decorate Your Interior Castle for the Holidays!
Alongside "Clergyman's Quarterly," perhaps we could also have "Cosmo-ecclesial" for women religious. For the first issue:
"An Obsequium Religiosum a Day Keeps the Apostolic Visitation Away!"