Not only will many readers here have direct experience with decades of marriage themselves, of ministering to those engaged, or of officiating at weddings—a good number will be 18-22 year old persons themselves who will have an interest in marriage (as they may be considering it someday), and at least until the end of the semester of psychological testing (as they are in my class). Once again the Venn Diagrams of Psychology and Spirituality come together. Because of the high divorce rate, churches and synagogues in the past several decades have increasingly turned to resources from psychology in order to help couples who are preparing for marriage to get a clearer understanding of what lies ahead of them. Pre-Cana programs in the Catholic church may include having each person take the FOCCUS Inventory. Here is what one young person wrote about the FOCCUS process:
I took the FOCCUS test in January and we just got our results, we scored high! But we were also honest. The best thing to do is to be honest, it will really help find where the two of you stand in particular areas of a marriage. I'm not Catholic, so this test is given in all types of churches, in fact our instructor in our class was saying that it is given in many different places (counseling, churches, etc...) I know most people think its ridiculous to take this test but I think it's a great idea. Many people now a days expect or don't expect certain things in a marriage, therefore end up in divorce, as you see. There could be a particular subject that you hadn't discussed really that could end up being a huge problem in your marriage, such as finances and budgets.
To me, I'm glad we took this test, seems that Jim and I are pretty compatible!
As students who take courses in psychological testing learn, the interpretation of psychological tests by someone with experience and training is often more important than the fact of the test or of the results given. One aspect of the FOCCUS program is trained examiners who can weave in test findings with their own sacramental understanding of marriage itself and a good knowledge of the couples who are preparing for marriage. For my own knowledge as well as for all of the 18-22 year olds reading today, I'd be very interesting in hearing from America readers who have worked in pre-Cana programs, whether they used FOCCUS or not. Another psychological test frequently used in marriage preparation (though not specifically in pre-Cana, I think) is the Sixteen Person Factors Inventory. Here is an example of psychological testing results used along with pre-marital counseling, from a standard textbook in the field:
Sue and Jim took tests as part of the pre-marriage program at their Church. The counselor met individually with each of them first--to go over their findings and then to obtain permission to share the findings in the joint meeting. Feedback to each person included relationship feedback and personality ratings.
Overall, Sue was 'very satisfied with the relationship. She believed she and Jim shared a great deal together, much caring and affection, good communication, and a fair division of roles. One area where she was 'a little unsatisfied' was in the area of finances. She believed that more money needed to be saved for the future; she was not happy that Jim had recently bought a $32,000 sports vehicle.
Sue's personality feedback included a high score on the Extraversion factor; indeed she has many friends and activities in her life. She presented herself as 'no more stressed' than most people. She scored higher on 'receptive' traits than 'tough minded' ones, suggesting an openness to different ideas, people, or situations. She came across as highly independent, as one who actively attempts to control others and her environment. She is experimenting and has an inquiring mind. Sue is more self-controlled and restrained, and her desire to save for the future is one aspect of this quality.
Jim's profile came back differently. In terms of the relationship, he noted that he was 'satisfied'--not quite as enthusiastic an endorsement as Sue. Although he was 'satisfied' with time together and caring and affection, he was 'unsatisfied' with division of roles, extended family, and finances.
In terms of 'couples comparison,' some major trends include the following: Sue tends to be more social, gregarious, and extraverted than Jim. In terms of anxiety, Jim is the more anxious and stressed of the two. Sue is more independent than Jim, and does not need as much regular affirmation of her self-worth from others or activities.
The counselor went over all of the test data with Sue and Jim. They agreed they had very different ideas about saving for the future. Jim noted, 'I get alot of enjoyment from my hobby with cars, and since I am paying for it myself, I think I have a right to this.' The counselor noted that because Sue gets a great deal of satisfaction from her social life, she may not have to purchase 'things.' Another area the counselor brought up for discussion was whether Jim goes along with Sue's plans without expressing his opinions. They both agreed that this occurs. When the counselor brought up the topics of extended families as well as how each felt about having children, Jim laughed and said 'There's alot to talk about here' while Sue remained surprisingly quiet.
Together, Sue and Jim decided that they would benefit from several more counseling sessions to talk about the concerns raised by the testing.
My own bias regarding psychological testing is that it should only be done when it provides information that can't be provided by more direct means. Binet came up with the idea for an "intelligence test" when parents, teachers and physicians in Paris could not agree on how to provide the right education for particular children. The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) or Beck Hopelessness Scale came about when psychiatrists and psychologists could not agree on important diagnoses and prognoses through interviews. In an ideal church, the experiences of the married couples and sacramental ministers themselves might be enough of a source of wisdom and guidance for those planning to marry. But this is a complex world, with a high divorce rate. Do you think psychological testing can add to, in Cardinal O'Connor's phrase, the sacramental resources of religion itself?
William Van Ornum
However, I feel that since there are a lot of factors that go into a psychological test not yeilding correct results, such as the bias of the participants to give answers that might yield the best results for their goal, I think that this test should be used in conjunction with other programs. This test might work well as a supplement to a program that has older experienced couples talk to younger couples about the challenges that they have faced in their years of marriage. The test could just be one form of information used for a couple to gain insight into whether or not they should take the important step of marriage.
In a research article done on the predictive validity of FOCCUS the author discusses how the point of FOCCUS is to give couples a way to assess their relationship. By going over results this test “helps a couple discuss and explore their relationship’s strengths and areas for growth.” (Williams, & Jurich, 1995) FOCCUS is now the most widely used assessment for the Catholic Church it was “developed to reflect the most current body of knowledge on what is necessary for a successful marriage.” (Williams, & Jurich, 1995) FOCCUS contains 15 categories including, personality match, marriage covenant, life style expectations, communication and other things of that nature. This study on FOCCUs showed that the FOCCUS scores “were able to predict successfully in 67.65 – 73.9% of the cases (depending upon the scoring method used) the couples with high quality marriage versus those with poor quality marriages.”(Williams, & Jurich, 1995) To me this shows that FOCCUS assessment is actually very useful and pretty valid. The research results also showed that couples that ended up having successful marriages scored higher than those who did not. To me this shows that programs like this can be very beneficial to people who are thinking about getting married so they can learn more about each other.
Williams, L, & Jurich, Joan. (1995). Predicting marital success after five years: assessing the predictive validity of foccus. Journal of Martial and Family Therapy, 21(2), Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.online.library.marist.edu/docview/220969233/abstract/12E8BCF33B1754FAB9/1?accountid=28549
I think churches should use psychological testing before allowing a couple to get married because of the extremely high divorce rates today. More couples are beginning to jump into marriage without learning all they can about their partner and therefore more divorces can occur because the couples are not as compatible as they could be.
As I begin to think about marriage, I do not want to make the wrong choice about my spouse especially if I have concerns in the back of my head. Psychological testing can be useful because I can learn more about my future spouse before marriage and we will be able to work out issues before they destroy our relationship.
The psychological testing seems to be working for some couples. The couple in the article, Sue and Jim seemed to benefit from their testing experience. They were both able to open up about their financial concerns and they realized what needed to be done before marriage was the right step for them.
I think that psychological testing such as the FOCCUS Inventory can only benefit couples if they are honest. As long as the people involved state their true emotions, then the test can benefit them. People may be able to learn about themselves as well as their partner. I think that this testing can allow people to learn about areas they need to work on before they make a big leap into marriage.
I have a friend who has recently gotten married and she told me about counseling that she had to go through in order to get married at the church they wanted to. She said it was really good for them because it helped them to see what they needed to work on in their relationship in order to make it last for as long as they wanted it to. She talked about how the priest pinpointed every little detail that they had never thought about discussing outside of counseling and they talked about it in great detail. She shared that the counseling sessions they had to go to really helped her and her husband form a closer bond with one another.
Whether you look at marriage from a religious point of view or not, it is a committment to stay with a person for the rest of your life. Therefore, why not see if your personalities will really mesh well together? I understand how some may think it isn't natural, however, I think it's a great tool to see how you will work out your differences and always know that at the end of the day you will love each other. Obviously, the inital attraction between the two people will not be taken away (I would assume no one would contemplate marriage if they weren't interested in the other person). This test is just one more way to make sure this decision is the right one. Who knows, by taking this and participating in Pre-Cana programs you might find out something that could change everything.
Since I'm only a college student I'm not an expert on marriage but I do have a general idea of what it should be. Marriage is a vow, for better or worse, in sickness and in health. It goes far beyond the love and affection of the "honeymoon phase". Arguments and struggles are natural in any relationship, the question is will you be able to overcome them? By taking the compatibility test, you can see the ways you will approach these situations and honestly understand one another better. I don't see why anyone would be strongly against this test if you have confidence in the success of your marriage and nothing to hide.
A program such as FOCCUS can be very beneficial for potential couples to take. This test can show couples how compatible they really are, which is important because a lot of couples think they are compatible, but really are not. There is too much pressure in today's world to get married, especially at a young age. I think that people need to realize that it is alright to decide not to get married. Marriage has become more of a competition rather than a ceremony to show two people's commitments to each other. It's all about the venue of the wedding rather than the vows people make to one another. I think FOCCUS can help couples decide what is best for them and whether or not both people in the couple are ready and willing to commit a lifetime together.
http://family-men.com/WEB%20DOCUMENTS/EFFECTSOFDIVORCEHeritage.pdf
In general, I think it's impossible to measure two people's love for each other or the strength of their relationship with a test. I like your comment about how it opens couples up to discussing tough issues. I think the FOCCUS is a valuable tool both for the couple to evaluate aspects of their relationship and for their premarital counselor to begin discussions.
Do you really think this is such a bad idea? Clearly the tests did their job, as in the article, there was the case study of Sue and Jim. Upon taking the inventory, they came to realize what they needed to work on within their relationship. Concerning some things, there were obviously not on the same page. The inventory brought these ideas to the forefront and allowed Sue and Jim to work on them. They even decided to continue with future counseling. So, while these tests may not work for everyone, isn't there some evidence of their successes in this article?
It has been stated in many of the above postings that today, people seeming “rush” into marriage. I do not see this as the case. People are waiting longer to get married. The average age to wed is higher than ever. Therefore, I cannot attribute rising levels of divorce to this. Instead, I argue that many marriages fail because individuals are unwilling to fix a relationship that is not perfect. In our society, we are obsessed with the latest and greatest. When something new comes along (such as technological advances), we dispose of the old, and get something seemingly better. We are always searching for more, causing us to become easily unsatisfied with what we have. I am not saying that this is the case for all marriages; however, I have found this to be one common underlying cause.
I cannot say that I am particularly religious, but I hold a rather strong view regarding divorce. While there are times that certain marriages must come to an end, I feel that others end due to this inability to commit. I do not believe that a pre-marital test would address or resolve this issue. People are different. An individual is never going to know everything about their partner. It would be impossible. Unforeseen, opposing perspectives are inevitable. I do not think a test could ever fully incorporate every potential issue or possible flaw, and I do not think we should complicate the process further with tests pointing out potential mishaps and downturns. We must remember that marriage is not a science; it is a sacred commitment to another person. Maybe I am old-fashioned, but we must remember that nothing is perfect and that for every good, there is a bad. We must try to reduce unrealistic expectations and become more accepting, and not focus on all the negatives that a lifetime of commitment may bring. Relationships are too complex to be predicted by a test.
On a side note, best wishes to anyone who is married, divorced, or hoping to be married someday. I hope that if you do look to these tests, you are provided with positive direction in your relationships.
- Amanda P.
I believe tests such as the FOCCUS Inventory can be very beneficial to the couple understanding who each other are. If they truly are ready to be married, then they should know the information the test would show or at least wanting to learn/possibly understand each other better. However, I do not believe that the minister or the test has the right to decide a couple cannot be married. I would understand if a church required counseling sessions and the taking of the test for a couple to married there, but after all that is done, if a couple still believes they are ready and willing to be married, then they should be allowed.
I do believe that many have forgotten what marriage is supposed to stand for, especially marriages within the church. It is a responsibility that one should only enter into if they truly are determined to complete the "till death do us part. Our society has instilled in many of us to find easy and fast solutions, which is fine in some areas, but not when it comes to marriage. The divorce rate shows that people have forgotten what it means to fight for something, not just try once and give up, but truly fight. Taking the FOCCUS Inventory or having other similar measures done is very beneficial. People need to be reminded how serious of a commitment marriage is, and realize both entering into one(and leaving one) is a step that should only be taken when it is right. Being in love/falling out of love is not the only requirement for marriage/divorce.
If couples are aware of the major decisions they need to make ahead of time and are willing to talk before it happens, many conflicts later in marriage can be avoided. I would be interested to see if couples who go through pre-cana have a lower divorce rate than those who do not, but religion could also be a factor in that decision.
In my experience, the FOCCUS inventory is far more thorough and objective and provides better feedback than "the experiences of the married couples and sacramental ministers themselves" ever could. It is said that people "don't know what they don't know" and this is especially true for couples about to marry. FOCCUS let's them know precisely what they don't know, and gives them the chance to find out, sometimes before it is too late.
Communication is usually referenced as an essential part of a marriage, and also the reason why marriages may not work out. A research experiment done in the late 1970’s, explored the importance of communication in premarital counseling and the use of the Premarital Communication Inventory. The inventory has about 40 questions that can be answered by a yes or no. The questions address plans for the future as well as the relationship in the present. It serves to find what areas need communication to be strengthened and listening needs to be strengthened. The PCI has been seen to help couples spark a discussion in an area where they have different opinions or attitudes. The PCI helps to guide the course of the premarital counseling into areas where differences exist.
http://www.jstor.org.online.library.marist.edu/sici?sici=0014-7214%281975%2924%3A1%3C65%3AAMOPC%3E2.0.CO%3B2-N&origin=serialsolutions
Do you have rough figures about how many couples remain married, say five years after going through Pre-Cana with the FOCCUS? thanks, bill
However, wouldn't this unawareness result from not truly spending the necessary amount of time to get to know the person? With the common knowledge that the divorce rate as high as it is, why on earth are people rushing into marriage? Is it societal pressures? Religious reasons? What does everyone else think?
i guess it's probably a culmination of those things, but i also think deeper-seated psychological issues have something to do with it. For example, one of my closest friends is absolutely obsessed with getting married. She and her boyfriend have been living together for 3 years and he has yet to "pop the question." For some reason, marriage and weddings are all she ever talks about anymore. After many frustrating conversations with her, we realized that she wanted so desperately to get married because of her life-long desire to belong somewhere with someone. Clearly, this is not the reason why someone should get married. Without our conversation, she might not have realized that until it was too late.
This article further emphasized the importance of taking the time to get to know a person before even considering to take that next step. Premarital counseling seems to be extremely helpful with that process, after psychological testing. Although I never considered it before, I would certainly consider doing it myself when that day comes (10 years from now!!)
http://search.proquest.com.online.library.marist.edu/docview/220946365/12E8769D49E1C2888F2/1?accountid=28549
This article discusses marriage counseling, with regards to a solution-oriented approach (framework). With this approach, counselors can "assist couples in identifying and activating resources that will help them to build a satisfying marriage." Perhaps this can be useful for Jim and Sue?
However, I do not think this type of testing should be mandated for couples or that it is always necessary because as Dr. Van Ornum argued above, psychological testing ''should only be done when it provides information that can't be provided by more direct means'' and I don't think this is the case in terms of marriage. Couples have formed their own bond through their relationship and if they feel they are ready for marriage, the results from a psychological test should not be used to confirm or deny their readiness. It would be sad to see a couple not stay together because they feel discouraged if they do not perform well on this test. Thus, it should be up to the couple to decide if they want to take a psychological test and they should not feel like their relationship is doomed if they choose otherwise. If anything programs like FOCCUS or pre-marital counseling may be more beneficial to the couple than taking a psychological test.
(23 June, 2006) ''Pre-marital counseling reduces divorce rate.'' Retrieved from http://www.physorg.com/news70250831.html
I have mixed feelings about the FOCCUS inventory. I do think that it is a very beneficial tool to extract and eliminate possible problems that might come up during a marriage in pre-marital counseling. I would agree with you, however, that it should be used sparingly for situations where the problems aren't so clear cut. Each couple has their own way of communicating and unless one is in the relationship, I believe that it would be hard to make assumptions about their readiness and about their commitment to one another.
I did a little more research on the FOCCUS inventory and found that it does have strong predictive validity on marital success. The FOCCUS research stated that most couples who had taken the FOCCUS inventory in their pre-marital counseling still had successful marriages five years later. I wish I was able to see the statistics and find out what the word most actually signifies. Still though, there are marriages out there that did not succeed even though they went through this process. In my personal opinion, and I could be wrong, the only people who can take control of a marriage are the individuals committing to that marriage.
http://www.foccusinc.com/research.aspx
My mom was married four times and after just a year of marriage, I was divorced. I don't think this kind of testing would have made a difference in whether I decided to get married or not, though. We did talk to a minister before the wedding and he advised us not to marry - ouch - but we went ahead. I understand that shared values can make for a strong relationship, but these tests seem to overlook what, in my own obviously twisted :) experience, seems like the most important factor in deciding about getting married .... love/attraction. Would people really break up with someone because they have different ideas about how to handle money? I do think individual counseling helps people know themselves better and that would make their relationships healthier, but I guess I'm not sold on compatibility being the best glue for a marriage.
Consulting is only slightly better than for a man to ask his mother who he should marry or a woman to ask her father who she will marry. And would you seriously trust the norms of the psycholigical profiles developed for testing or held by psychologist? Beside the basic creepiness of being so dependent on others to be advised or influence on such an important personal matter that can profoundly impact your life , your personal unique emotional, cultural, politcal, social and inter-personal needs are not being considered by third party advisers. These third parties have no way of ever knowing who you are in crtically important ways.
It is crititical for you to find out for yourself and have a deep and certain sense of what you want and expect in another person usually by dating a fair number of people. People who are compatiable recognize they are very compatatble with each other. But a ompatable person needs to be found and mututally recognized without third-partoes getting involved.
The problem with our society is that the person next door is likely not to be compatiable and would tend to be a very poor choice for a marriage. We are definitlely not any longer one big happy village. We live in a rapidly changing and a wildly diverse muti-cultural society. A fair amount ot searching is usually needed to find someone with the same references,outlooks, expectations and positive chemistry you would be compatable with.
A selection process that you are in charge of can find someone sooner or? ?l?a?t?e?r? without recourse to ?well-meaning but ineffective and likely misleading ?third parties. ?
From what I can see, the test touches upon important topics which definitely should be addressed before marriage (finances, children, in-laws, roles, etc.). Just like the scenario in the article displays, couples can engage in further counseling if need be. Divorce is such a common occurrence in today’s society. “50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.” Maybe implementing these types of tests will help divorce rates decrease. I agree with (#3) in that couples can find out if marriage is right for them, before it is too late.
Sue and Jim represent many American couples today in that the underlying issue in their relationship is finances. Many couples today start marriages in debt, or not in agreement with the way their partner handles their financials. If this issue is not resolved before the marriage then the marriage itself is inevitably doomed. Some people choose to settle this issue by having two separate bank accounts, and yet still share the same bed. This is irony at its finest. Others choose to help their partners to see money issues their way, and then resentment builts. What is the correct way to handle finalcial tensions in a relationship? I am not exactly sure. However, I do know that if a couple is not ready to deal with this pressing issue then perhaps they are also not ready for marriage.
We also used a very short Myers Briggs which can now can be found on the INTERNET. Both INVENTORIES gave the couples new and valuable insights. We never had bad feed back and very often very positive feed back. Our Program stopped some marriages by couples re-thinking; which we considered success. We even had one woman come back with a 'new' man and thank us for 'helping put on the breaks'. She latter came to be a marriage prep parish minister. Finances were the biggest problem with couples, especially in the Bay Area with older couples in their late twenties/early thirties and an expensive area to start up in. . Some also had un-acknowledged tuition debt until FOCCUS . . Nice surprise huh? Bad news is dioceses are closing/de-funding Family/Marriage Offices and instead putting their aim on same-sex marriages that happen in the basements of city hall. [Like who cares what happens in the basement of city halls. that's where you go to get an electrical/plumbing permit if you really think you need one.] Nice surprise huh?
Tom Mahar is under the false assumption that 'third parties' make decisions about marriages in the marriage prep program. he makes false claims and then says they are "creepy' .. That's creepy.
Thanks for your feedback, which is first-hand, constructive, and has the ring of authenticity.
amdg, bill
Thank you! I am learning from you. I certainly hope there are solid and stable marriages/partnerships etc. in your futures. I think it's good to think about this topic and I think the Church can play a helpful role. best, bvo
In my opinion there seems to be several possible benefits of this inventory. One good thing about the test is that it makes couples’ issues clear to them so they can work on them together. It is good they receive counseling while doing this process. Talking about issues such as finances and family is something that every couple should discuss before they make the decision to get married. Some people however do not think of these issues until they become too big and it ends up destroying their marriages. For couples who are able to face their problems and work on them together, since nobody is perfect, this inventory may be very useful during this process and help couples like these become closer and have a better marriage. However for the other couples who have a harder time admitting to their problems and compromising, this inventory may cause a lot of troubles.
During the results session with the counselor some people may have a difficult time hearing from their significant other certain things they don’t like about the other. It may just turn into a large fight with no productive solution. Whether couples like this should get married otherwise is an issue that involves many other factors. In addition, some people may not be able to handle the personality results about themselves. Another negative aspect of the inventory is it might cause healthy couples to doubt their relationship and not get married when they may have no reason not to. Even with the possible feuds the FOCCUS Inventory may cause, I think couples who can take it with an open mind and understand it is only meant to benefit them and help them create a healthier marriage, it can be very valuable.
The process you describe does make profound judgement of the individual couple chances of success at marriage which does superceed the judgement of the individuals couple. But who's judgement is better, the individual couple or the test? You say the test is all-knowing predictor of success or failure of a couple's success in marriage which then would superceed their judgment of their success?
This superceeding of judgement is very intrustive since it is doubtful that any test has the power to predict the future with any certainty. It is destructive and creepy for an outsider test to pass uncertain judgment on a couple's future marrage.
Who is the best judge of whom you should marry? The test or your own considered judgement?
Are you not saying the evaluation of the response of couple to the predetemined test questions is a definitive judgement on the couple likely success at marraige? Or is the test given only for fun where the determination of the test results that indicate your marraige will fail just said in jest? Clearly this process is done very seriously and comes to very dire conclusion whcih can not be taken back by saying "just kidding". So where do you get such confidence in the certainty of this testr from?
What is interesting about the breakdown of the divorce rates is that most divorces occur when people are relatively young, according to this website at least. To me that could mean that once married the couple found differences that they did not know they had or could not solve. I think a test such as the FOCCUS test could help shed some light on future problems a relationship may face. The point of the test seems not to be to analysis and compute a relationship score but instead take a closer look at the strengths and weaknesses that exist. If this were a test that measured for example a person’s professional strengths and weaknesses, a person would know how to better improve and market themselves to companies. This same logic can be applied to these tests. If a test can point out some of the things people can work on to strengthen the relationship then hopefully the couple works on it and the likelihood of divorce goes down. One important thing to remember however is how/who analyses the results. As mentioned in the article it is almost or even more so important than the test itself.
I and the others users of FOCCUS say over and over it's not a test. IT"S AN INVENTORY. We do not, even cannot make marriage recommendations. If couples disagree about children, finances, in laws. lifestyle choices, debt etc.
We make no judgments .. Once when a man punched a woman outside on the sidewalk after a prep program , and other couples came to me to interfere,we did report that to the officiating priest. He refused to marry them, but they shopped the wedding to another priest. At most we say at obvious problems 'wow 'you guys have a lot to discuss and resolve'.
Your insistence that there is a pass/fail test and couples are sent away with a no to their marriage is so off base about marriage preparation I wonder why you are posting.
Call your priest and ask if lay people can say yes and no to a Catholic marriage. He will laugh.. Call your diocesan Family Life Office [see if it still open] and resolve your numerous and mistaken opinions.
In today’s society, I believe many people may just be in a “rush” to get married, and don’t carefully plan out their future with the person before they make their vows. I agree with Dr. Van Ornum’s statement, “My own bias regarding psychological testing is that it should only be done when it provides information that can't be provided by more direct means”. I believe that if a couple cannot live without this psychological testing for their marriage in order to steer away from a divorce, then all means, let them go through testing. The couples who are strong enough, in love enough, and planned out enough of their future together, while talking through obstacles and problems along the way, will not need the testing because they were able to work through their own dilemmas and realize that what mattered in the end is the love they have for one another, and their common interests towards their future together.
“Do you think psychological testing can add to, in Cardinal O'Connor's phrase, the sacramental resources of religion itself?” In my opinion, I do not believe that testing can add to or strengthen the sacramental resources of religion. Couples will get married with our without therapy or testing. Many of couples in today’s society that are planning to marry still get married in church because they are religious, or because it is tradition. I don’t feel at all that in this case psychological testing will help reinforce religion; I believe that faith, love, and trust between these two people waiting to be wed, will strengthen their religious ties to the community and to God, on their own without the need for testing.
The statistics are quite upsetting, considering I am one of those people who wish to get married in the future. I believe that something needs to be done in order to keep these divorce numbers down. The FOCUS test seems like it could do the trick but at the same time, I am unsure about it. I believe that couples have their own way of communicating and I am not sure that a test of this sort can truly see if couples are compatible. Although the sample questions posted by Alyssa Moirano seem like important ones to discuss before marriage, I don’t know if the test can provide evidence of commitment and personalities. I would be interested to learn more about the FOCUS test!
http://marriage101.org/divorce-rates-in-america/
After reading this article, I believe it is a very logical idea to take pre-marriage test because they assess personalities and desires of each member of the relationship and test future harmony or problems. In mentioning that there is such a high divorce rate, I think it only makes sense to take pre-marriage tests in order to avoid future problems, which may lead to divorce. Psychological testing, as we have learned throughout the entire semester can help predict future capability in many situations and I think applying it to marriage can be very useful.
I had never really thought about couples taking a test before marriage to make sure they were in check with each other in ways they might not necessarily think about. Considering the current divorce rate among couples, I think this particular idea is pretty smart. If nothing else, it can't hurt to take it, right? I like the concept of taking it individually, meeting individually about the results, and then finally coming together afterwards. It seems like a fairly smooth process that might be surprisingly beneficial to couples before jumping into marriage.
If for some reason the inventory doesn't agree with you, I do not think that a couple should break up, though. People still need to follow their hearts. Hopefully the test and the test administrator can acknowledge this.
I have taken similar online tests like this before, but they have not been very reliable! It seems as if my "personality" changes along with my moods. Somedays it says I am introverted, other days I am extraverted. I would MUCH rather take this sort of test with a professional who can explain the results to me.
Maybe it seems unnatural to do such a thing, to test couples for compatibility. It's not like this has always occurred so I understand why people may be against it completely. From my perspective though, I think we should sometimes embrace what Psychology and technology has given us and use it to our advantage. I do not really think that this could hurt people because if these test results hurt a couple so strongly, then maybe they shouldn't be together! If test results make a couple SO bent out of shape, then they will not be able to withstand the trials of marriage, which can possibly be much worse than the score on a test.
I am one of those people out there who believes that much of society has changed for the worst because of the increase of the single mother. Some people consider this a radical point of view, but it just makes sense. I won't get into it all now, but just think about it. With inventories being used for pre-marriage counseling like this, women and men will be much more likely to stay with each other and raise a family appropriately, instead of realizing how bad they are for each other and abandoning their children, increasing the chance of emotional problems.
Thank you for informing us of this! It is something that I will be sure to look into using before I ever get married!
A program like FOCCUS could help couples understand how truly compatible they are and where issues in their relationship may occur in the future.
The great part about these tests is that they're not imperative (although in some cases i believe they should be).
In Christianity, isn't it looked down upon to get a divorce? (please correct me if I'm wrong). Therefore, why wouldn't couples moving in the direction of marriage be willing to take all necessary steps to avoid a divorce from occurring? It can only be helpful in my opinion-if you are fully fit to be together, the test will most likely reveal this. if not, it should be something to consider that may even strengthen the relationship in the long run.
To bring it back to the topic of psychological testing, I think that something like ‘FOCCUS’ is a great tool for pre-marital examinations. Even if it sounds ridiculous to test your significant other, I think it can pull two people out of the emotional aspect of a relationship and make marriage more of a logical decision that has a timeless element to it. The test brings a level of maturity to the table, and I think in order to prolong the survival of a relationship, a couple needs to understand that ‘love’ and ‘God’ are not always strong enough variables to sustain a relationship.
The only problem I have with this, is that it's almost not real. Those who think they are ready to get married should be able to handle marriage on their own without a psychologist telling them how difficult it is to stay married. I think if you are taking the "risk" of getting married, you should already know the problems and obstacles you encounter as a couple. Besides, if you do poorly on this testing, then that could seriously effect your relationship with the person you thought you loved. I don't think it's a good thing to tell someone whether they will work well together in the future or not.
The divorce rate today is unfortunate, and I think once couples are married and are going through a difficult time, then they should seek psychological couple help to try and fix and save their marriage by doing whatever it takes. Sometimes, people just fall out of love, and I guess that is the purpose of performing these psychological tests before they get married, but what's the adventure in that? When you get married, you are supposed to encounter new, scary experiences with the person you love, and yes it will be difficult, but that doesn't mean you should just give up. That's not what life is about - you can't just give up on difficult task, you have to over come them. So i think these tests have their benefits of showing new couples the obstacles of marriage, but I don't think it's okay to tell a couple whether or not they will do well together.
I also found the 16 Factor Personality Test to be beneficial in pre-marital counseling. This test, unlike the FOCCUS, might help couples realize the roots of their relationship difficulties. The test seems to probe less obvious issues, pointing out in the example why Sue does not feel the need to splurge financially because this need is fulfilled by other aspects of her life. These realizations can help couples to better understand each other and work through potential problems.
(http://web.ebscohost.com.online.library.marist.edu/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=ead3adba-0a7b-47eb-a166-bc5c8299d6c2%40sessionmgr10&vid=2&hid=10)
This article found premarital counseling to be a beneficial process. Through a random household survey, researchers investigated the possible benefits of premarital education such as marriage classes and counseling. Results found that premarital counseling resulted in higher levels of satisfaction in marriage and lower levels of conflict, as well as lower levels of divorce.
Using testing to it's greatest potential, and handled in the right hands and with the right interpretation is highly profitable to the counselor, teacher and clergy. It is those who are ill-equipped and ill-prepared in using it as an effective tool that will ultimately give it a bad name. I found this article extremely helpful in showing the resourcefulness of psychological testing with relationships, both in and out of marriage:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703806304576242690486216416.html
FACEBOOK, WEDDING BUZZ BOARDS, Cultural/Religious Weddings, FOCCUS Catholic ScanTron test for couples ...
Entry by Barbara from Lindenhurst NY, June 14, 2010 said on the FOCCUS test she her future husband took:
"When we did our evaluation, the [Church Repressentative] seemed to "get off" on some of our answers to sexual questions. We were so disgusted with him we've decidded we're A) NO LONGER CATHOLIC B) NOT GETTING MARRIED THERE C) WILL RAISE OUR KIDS AS METHODIST."
You should be aware taht you take this very long test (yes everyone calls it a test) it appears the couples test results are then discussed with a third party. A third party involvement with highly personal information is the objection I had. This entry shows the private information is abused. Couldn't you jsut see the potential for abuse in sharing personal information with s third party? Let get real not everyAmd the result of this invasion of couples privapriis that tNd the result Let's get real sharing the 200 very personal questions of the FOCCUS with a third party for discussion opens a couple up for abuse. Not every third party will act professionally and responsibly with this type of sensitive information. And the result is a horror. And the couple will no longer associate with the church.
Third party participation in evaluating the results opens the door for abuse of the very sensitve, private information revealed by the couple in answering the FOCCUS test questions. The end result is the couple were harmed and not helped.