We lock doors when we are afraid. It separates us from whatever it is that we fear. Unfortunately, locked doors do not shut out fear itself. That is sealed inside with us. Fear does not lessen in containment. It grows. It increases because we are alone with our fright. Locked in, nothing draws our attention away from whatever it is that we dread.
To be locked away is also to be locked in. We do not just face our fears. We constantly confront our cellmates. There we are, face to face, on top of each other, in a way far from normal. Perhaps it is our fallen nature, but this makes it easier than ever to see the shortcomings in others. With just a bit more distance, their essential goodness could come easily into focus. But space is limited when you are locked in.
Behind doors, it is also much harder to escape ourselves. We are forced to think about who we are, who we wanted to be, who we are afraid we are becoming. We realize just how much of our normal routine involves racing from reflection. There is a reason solitary confinement is considered such a harsh punishment.
Staying behind closed doors may make us feel safe, but it keeps us from the people, the events and experiences that we need in order to grow into the selves we were meant to become.
But there are graces in a rupture. As something is broken apart, we see things differently. We reexamine our routines. That helps us to decide what to keep and what to let go. We have time to think about how we have been living, about the roles that different relationships play in our lives. We replay our memories, seeing actors and causes we never before recognized.
Yet life is not meant to be locked away. Staying behind closed doors may make us feel safe, but it keeps us from the people, the events and experiences that we need in order to grow into the selves we were meant to become. Stay locked up too long and fear starts to gnaw away at us. We lose confidence and perspective. The fear grows, takes on a life of its own, while we diminish.
Someone must open those doors. Or we must decide to unlock them. If neither of these happen, then the Lord of life himself must come through the bolts. The one who took down fear and defeated death must come for us. He must assure us that we are safe, that it is going to be alright. Most of all, that he is with us, the one who has gone before us, triumphed and comes back to claim us.
Christ does not simply coddle us as one would a child. No, giving us his courage, he makes us his comrades in sharing a calm that only he can offer.
Jesus came and stood in their midst
and said to them, “Peace be with you.”
When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side.
The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.
Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you.
As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”
