A Reflection for the Monday of the Second Week of Lent
“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Lk 6:36).
I’ll tell you what bothers me. It’s when I go to Mass, minding my own business, and the priest says something like, “Is there anything or anyone you really need to forgive?”
Ah, yeah. There is something and definitely someone. And it is the same something and the same someone that I always think of when I hear a homily like this or when it comes up at a retreat or in spiritual direction or confession or whatever. It comes up often enough, alright? And I’m not going to spell it out here. God knows what I am talking about.
I’ll tell you what bothers me. It’s when I go to Mass, minding my own business, and the priest says something like, “Is there anything or anyone you really need to forgive?”
But I just cannot seem to let it go. And frankly, I don’t appreciate being reminded of it. I would much rather just try to forget about it. Usually, I will say a little prayer I don’t really mean, like: “God, can you help me with this? Can you take this grudge away from me?” And then somewhere in my subconscious, I imagine, I say: “Oh, you can’t help me just now? O.K., no problem, God. I don’t really want to forgive this anyway. Because this person doesn’t deserve it.”
That’s how it goes. Every time. Do you have something like that? Do you have someone you just cannot seem to forgive? Someone who did something you consider unforgivable, either to you or to someone you love? Or worse, do you, like me, fool yourself into thinking you have actually forgiven that person or that thing that happened? Then, snap, the surge of anger. The pain of it, re-lived. You haven’t really forgiven it, and you certainly haven’t let it go.
It’s the worst. I hate thinking about this. And Jesus is telling me, “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful”? Come on, Lord! If I may confess my great weakness here, I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive this person for this thing. I hope I can someday—for my own sake!
Please take this grudge away from me. Please forgive me for holding onto it so long. Please give me the grace to be merciful as you are merciful.
For the most part, I don’t really judge or condemn others. I am a sinner, too. I get it. And I feel like, in general, I am not bad at forgiving. I am not in the hall of fame of forgiveness or anything, but there have been some big ones.
Yet Jesus is not asking me to be merciful 99 percent of the time. I am not called to be a Christian “most of the time.” I cannot let myself off the hook because I am almost always a forgiving person. Because God isn’t almost always merciful. He is mercy itself.
Oh Lord, how I wish I could be more like you! I wish I could let this go. Please take this grudge away from me. Please forgive me for holding onto it so long. Please give me the grace to be merciful as you are merciful.
Get to know J.D. Long-García, Senior Editor
What are you giving up for Lent?
This year, it is more of a “doing” than a “giving up” Lent for me. I’m drinking more water, getting more exercise (it’s a low bar right now) and reading Learning to Pray: A Guide for Everyone, by America’s editor at large, James Martin, S.J.
Do you cheat on Sundays?
Is it cheating to celebrate the resurrection? Just kidding, no. No cheating.
Favorite non-meat recipe
Plantains. Fried, boiled, mashed, whatever.
Favorite Lenten art
Fra Angelico’s “Christ on the Cross Adored by St. Dominic” (There may be more than one of these, but I like the one with less blood, blue backdrop.)
