Rebellion within the Holy Family

Christmas season tends to draw to the surface a concern for one’s family. So much centers around family expectations or lack of expectations. Parents simply want to provide a holiday atmosphere of peace and gratitude for their children. Young adults without kids of their own might think about those who are close to them or others who remain estranged and distant. Scripture, likewise, understands the central role of family through the lens of obedience and disobedience. What happens when the ideal obedience towards parents is not achieved? Take, for example, this Sunday’s Gospel, which captures a moment of small rebellion by a 12-year-old member of the Holy Family.

This Sunday’s first reading comes from a book with many names. In Hebrew, it is called “The Wisdom of Ben Sira.” In Greek, it is called “Sirach,” after the Greek spelling of the author’s name. In the western Christian tradition, it was called “Liber Ecclesiasticus, which means “the Church Book.” It earned this name because it is primarily a book of moral teachings that the church used for centuries to teach moral standards within society. Today’s passage highlights the role of family ethics. “God sets a father in honor over his children; a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons” (Sir 3:2). There is also a tender moment in the same passage, “My son, take care of your father when he is old; grieve him not as long as he lives” (Sir 3:12).

Loyalty and respect for one’s parents was so highly regarded in ancient societies that within ancient texts like the Hebrew Scriptures any breach of this standard is listed among the highest offences against God and community. Among the list of infamy that Paul includes in his letter to the Romans are, “slanderers, God-haters, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, those rebellious toward parents” (Rom 1:30). In a later set of writings, disobedience towards parents is placed on a list of atrocities committed by people collectively labeled “lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God” (2 Tm 3:2-4). It is hard to imagine that today’s shifting moral standards would place disobedience towards parents on the same list as “haters of good,” even though respect towards parents still holds a place of high esteem.

Luke recalls the only incident attested in the canonical Gospels of a 12-year-old Jesus who appears to have worried his parents unnecessarily. The boy remains behind while the family caravan leaves Jerusalem. Jesus lingers around the temple area; his parents only find him after three days of anxious searching. His parents were justifiably perplexed. When Mary asked her child in frustration, “Son, why have you done this to us?” (Lk 2:48), Jesus’ response only adds to the confusion, “Why were you looking for me?”

This strange scene of disobedience is redeemed by the author of the Gospel. Luke informs the reader not to worry about the child Jesus because he “was obedient to them” while Mary “kept all these things in her heart” (Lk 2:51). For the purpose of theological clarity, however, two things are captured by this scene. First, Mary and Joseph were just as protective of Jesus and anxious for him as any parents would be for their children. Joseph and Mary struggle to figure out the realities of parenting, just as all parents have to. Finally, as a young boy, Jesus reveals a hidden truth: We are all children of God. Luke is trying to convey that disobedience to God our Father is of the same magnitude as disobedience towards parents. Jesus shows the way by staying close to his “Father’s house” even while loving and adhering to another set of parents. This theological truth is repeated in today’s second reading: “See what the Father has bestowed on us that we may be called the children of God. And so we are” (1 Jn 3:1).