Loading...
Loading...
Click here if you don’t see subscription options
Otter Jung-Allen April 11, 2017

Once,
I was so lonely
that my father gave me doubt as a sibling.
As he found new gods
in a long needle and hot spoon,
I was given the company of denial,
and hugged Pop like buildings hug eviction notices. My mother bit her fists.
I kept still.
I do not cry for expectations met.
But now that he does not live above the sink
there is no naturality to his negligence.
There comes hungry emails,
kissed shut letters.
There is a fresh desperation
puppeteered by guilt.
It confuses me to no end.
It is as if he believes
I have saved a childhood for him.
As if I did not learn to tie my shoes
watching him tie off his arm.
How naive of my father to expect a welcome.
And how comforting to realize
that I am every part of unforgettable
he should never
have missed.

Once,/ I was so lonely/ that my father gave me doubt as a sibling.

Comments are automatically closed two weeks after an article's initial publication. See our comments policy for more.

The latest from america

Canon law does not give much specific direction about who can make decisions for the church during the interregnum.
Colleen DulleApril 29, 2025
How “unity” and “clarity” are becoming buzzwords for reversing Pope Francis’ style of governance: a Conclave Podcast from America’s team in Rome
Inside the VaticanApril 29, 2025
“He has given a great witness of humility, of closeness to the people, of living out the Gospel values. He has left a great example for us to follow,” a priest from Honduras told America.
J.D. Long GarcíaApril 29, 2025
In an April 29 statement, the Vatican said “the oath of the officials and attendants of the conclave will take place” May 5 in the Pauline Chapel, not far from the Sistine Chapel where the cardinals will vote for the next pope.