The spirit of giving comes alive during this merry time of year: Family members exchange gifts; friends and coworkers engage in gift exchanges; local charities run food and winter clothing drives for community members in need. And there are also, of course, the Christmas trees decorated with lights, ornaments and little slips of paper, standing tall in the back of our local parish churches.
I am talking about “giving trees” (sometimes known as “angel trees”), which populate many Catholic parishes in the weeks leading up to Christmas. The slips of paper that decorate them often carry detailed individual donation requests from a range of people in need. Depending on the church, the slips of paper may include children’s ages and their favorite kind of toy or an elderly person’s gender and winter clothing size. Once you grab a paper decoration off the tree, you are then responsible for returning with a gift corresponding to the slip you have taken.
Although there are many ways to donate during the Christmas season, the giving trees may be the most meaningful to me. This format for giving provides an intimacy not always present through other forms of donating.
There is a forced proximity that happens when you participate in these giving trees. This personalization is often missing when you drop off cans of food at a food drive or donate outgrown clothing to a shelter. Physically grabbing the paper ornament creates a personal connection with the child you are choosing to help: You know that this 10-year-old girl needs size 5 shoes, or that 8 year-old-boy needs a medium-sized winter jacket and likes to play with Legos.
The information on the paper ornaments can also challenge preconceived notions we may hold about our own communities. The children on the trees could be classmates of your child, or your longtime neighbors. The elderly person who needs a winter hat and gloves this winter may have just lost their partner and is having a difficult financial and emotional time this season. Though it is easy to get caught up in our own individual worlds and families, especially at a time so busy and often overwhelming, it is vital to the world that we remember the individuals in need who are all around us—and among us.
In early November, I attended Mass at Sts. Patrick and Raphael Parish in Williamstown, Mass. While I was there, Father John, the pastor, promoted their giving tree at the end of Mass and proposed that parishioners go as a family, children and parents together, to purchase the gifts for the tree. He suggested this action may encourage an open dialogue among parents, children and other family members about the needs in their community and what they could do to help. This particular request struck me. It has been several weeks since I attended this Mass, but his message has stayed with me.
If we participate in the giving tree tradition as a family and make a conscious effort to purchase the gifts at the store together, the tradition can remind us of the importance of creating an intergenerational system of care for our entire community. The practice reminds us, children and adults alike, that God asks each of us to care for all his creations. Everyone deserves to feel loved and cared for this holiday season and, indeed, always.
I still believe that more general donation drives are important and have a distinctive impact. But however we give, it is important to remember that there are individuals on the receiving end of our charity, not just statistics but real people. This season is a reminder to give the gift of personalized care. Every child and adult in your community deserves to feel special and cared for. Whether through the giving tree or another method, we can take the time to make small gestures that can make someone else’s holiday season extra special. Let us create a tradition of care within our families! Even those families without the financial means to buy gifts for the Christmas giving trees can give the gift of recognizing the humanity and dignity of the people around them, whether that means volunteering in a soup kitchen or nursing home or just remembering to be truly present to loved ones.
Regardless of how you are able to give this season, let God’s grace lead you in all you do, and do not underestimate the power of care and thoughtfulness in the name of God.
