A Reflection for Thursday of the First Week in Ordinary Time
Find today’s readings here.
Oh, that today you would hear his voice,
“Harden not your hearts as at the rebellion
in the day of testing in the desert.” (Hebrews 3:7-8)
No one will ever mistake me for a particularly spiritual person or an especially devout Catholic. I treat reports of the divine with the same journalistic skepticism I apply to most things in my life.
It comes naturally to me, I’m afraid. I know the leakage of that professional agnosticism into my actual life will strike many as sad or cynical, probably unwarranted.
Could it just be a defensive pose? Perhaps that is why this simple piece of Scripture has always moved me, much as I might wish that it did not.
We have all learned from hardship or trauma to at times harden our hearts, to close off our senses to everything. I suppose it is a survival mechanism during times of such great conflict and need. (How we always believe ours the worst of times when history assures us it is not so; don’t despair!)
How many lepers have I passed by with my eyes fixed on the sidewalk ahead of me? How often have I grown so weary of the suffering and mayhem depicted in our daily news that I have turned the digital page to something more diverting?
But the hardening of one’s heart creates its own cracks; there is something seeking us that finds its way in.
A wise Jesuit I am fortunate enough to work with once advised me to be still and to listen at moments when I am caught unawares by emotion. What is that sudden ache? Why am I squinting away a tear?
Grief and joy can both surprise us—a photo of that sullen teenager as a giggling toddler, a purse our dear mother once carried discovered on a pile of clothing on its way to Goodwill.
The skeptic in me dismisses these moments—mere electro-chemical neurological responses!—but there is that hopeful part of me, bestilled by wonder. Is it the seeking of the Holy Spirit, asking me to be attentive, to tune in more sharply when all I want to do is tune out everything?
Oh I implore you, brothers and sisters: Harden not your hearts. Keep your heart and your head and your eyes open; stay ready. There is so much work to be done and our obligations are many, but I suspect we have no idea now of the joy and glory that await us.
