A Reflection for Tuesday of the Seventh Week of Ordinary Time
Find today’s readings here.
Throughout the past few weeks, I’ve noticed myself missing people more than usual—not those who have passed, but loved ones I don’t see as consistently as I would like to see them. And there doesn’t seem to be one particular reason for this feeling.
I moved recently, which likely plays a role. I’m a bit further away from family and settling into a different lifestyle, which naturally comes with an adjustment period. But the change hasn’t been drastic. I’m living with friends who bring me tremendous comfort and there are plenty of familiar elements in my day-to-day. Still, this thought persists.
I feel things very deeply. I always have. I often make outrageously valiant efforts to understand my emotions and where they come from, a practice that a non-Jesuit-educated person might label ‘overthinking.’
Yet I am nothing but grateful for the way my brain works. My process has brought me to some truly beautiful moments of self-discovery and revelation. Sometimes, it leaves me with more questions than answers. When I find myself in a mental state resembling the latter, I turn to old reflections and conversations which have brought me comfort or insight over the years.
A mentor of mine once shared that we all live our lives on a continuum between fear and love. He spoke of the need to move beyond our initial thoughts and emotions, to ensure we are headed in the right direction. We must think and act intentionally. And in recent weeks, when I’ve experienced this intense emotion of missing loved ones, it feels like God is asking me to make a choice. Time slows down a bit. I feel called to be still. This whole thing could go one of two ways. My next move could lead me towards fear, or towards love.
Today’s first reading, in layman’s terms, asks us to stay strong through the tough times. We are told how we must prepare ourselves for trials because even gold and silver are tested in fire. This is how worthy people find their said worth in the “crucible of humiliation.” Our goal is not only to remain steadfast when we feel sorrowful, but also to be patient throughout crushing misfortune.
And we are told how we are meant to follow these instructions: “Wait on God, with patience… Trust God and God will help you.” Such feats cannot be achieved without divine grace. God is always quietly at work, quite often on a different timeline than we prefer.
The words are inspiring. The message is hopeful. But the practice is much easier said than done.
There are quite a few phrases in this reading that most of us don’t immediately associate with the ability to hop on a path towards love. Sorrow. Humiliation. Crushing misfortune. Yet these moments lead to opportunities for choice, even when we might feel a paralyzing lack of control. So instead of interpreting this reading as a call to remain blindly optimistic when I find myself upset or angry, I am thinking about it in the context of the small choices God asks us to make every day.
In my case, the feeling of missing friends or family should lead me to pick up the phone and make a call. Plan the next trip. Grab the next dinner. Take a few moments to reset when things feel overwhelming. In the case of folks who are dealing with hardships far more severe than occasional loneliness, it requires a distinct intentionality to allow their feelings to lead them down the path towards love. That effort can look wildly different in each of our individual situations, and it is for each of us to find while trusting in God’s work behind the scenes.
That same mentor of mine often describes spirituality as the art of homecoming. He believes that light exists within every person, and that we are all artists who simply need to find our way home. We have been granted the opportunity to make choices that determine the degree to which that light shines. When we feel sorrowful, humiliated and crushed, it often seems that the world is pushing us towards fear. Today’s reading invites us to take the time we need to process our emotions and turn towards love. The ability is already within us.
