Amid the sweeping changes made by the Trump administration, the effective closure of the U.S. Agency for International Development has particularly troubled me. Some 30 years ago, U.S.A.I.D.’s Latin American and Caribbean Bureau helped to change my life for the better with a scholarship. The agency has done a lot of good worldwide, and I was not the only one to benefit from its presence in Belize.
In 1989 I was a student at St. John’s College, a Jesuit school in Belize City that offered associate’s degrees. At the time, there was no national university in Belize, so pursuing a higher degree meant studying abroad. Only the wealthiest families could consider such an option without scholarships, but I was able to attend Fordham University in New York and earn my bachelor’s degree thanks to a Jesuit scholarship program created by Leo Weber, S.J., in Belize and Harold Bradley, S.J., at Georgetown University. Participating Jesuit universities in the United States waived tuition for scholarship recipients, and U.S.A.I.D., through its Central American Scholarship Program (CASP), paid for food and lodging. (Students were responsible for their own books.)
I lived in New York City from 1989 to 1991 and soaked in the energy of the city, the people and the culture. I would often joke that the entire country of Belize could move to New York and live on one city block. I gained a love for New York and the United States, and the U.S.A.I.D. grant was in no small way responsible for that.
The scholarship wasn’t a free ride, however. I had attained it on merit, but I had to pledge that I would repay it with at least two years of service in my home country. As soon as I completed my two-year program in New York, I was offered a teaching position at a high school near my home in Belize: Saint Catherine Academy, a girls’ Catholic school operated by the Sisters of Mercy. I taught at the high school for five years and then went on to work at the local phone company for another five. Then I formed my own information technology consulting company. I recently resigned, after a decade as the chief information officer of Belize’s largest airline, to enter the Jesuit novitiate.
In my heart, I know that I can credit most of my achievements to the opportunity afforded me by the Jesuits and U.S.A.I.D. My course of study was in the humanities, but during my time in New York, I fell in love with computers and managed to get a PC and a modem so I could connect to online bulletin board services as well as services like America Online, CompuServe and Prodigy. I had even worked on a research project with a Fordham professor and been introduced to the school’s UNIX-based network that was connected to a larger education network—a precursor to what would eventually become the internet.
When I returned to Belize, I was initially hired to teach English and literature, but the principal soon discovered my affinity for technology and I was assigned to teach computer classes as well. And when the local phone company started to bring the internet to Belize in the mid-’90s, it hired me as part of its team. Thus began my trajectory in the field of information technology, seeded by my time in New York and made possible by that scholarship funded by U.S.A.I.D.
I don’t know how many others around the world received these scholarships, but there were many from Belize. And the program was part of a much larger educational initiative by U.S.A.I.D. for Central America and the Caribbean, so it is fair to assume that the program changed the lives of thousands for the better. The CASP program (later renamed the Cooperative Association of States for Scholarships) was also begun during the Cold War, so certainly it was meant to build loyalty to the United States. And in my case, it worked: I loved my time in the United States and made many new friends with whom I still communicate decades later.
I am now back in New York, and I see the Fordham campus across from my Jesuit residence every day, which has brought back many fond memories of that earlier time. Sadly however, my nostalgia collided with reality when I decided to research the scholarship that I had received. I wanted to find out how long the program ran and how many received scholarships, and maybe discover a few of the more notable recipients. But the U.S.A.I.D. website has become a virtual brick wall as the agency shuts down, and information about all the good that U.S.A.I.D. accomplished is no longer accessible there.
That deeply troubles me. The only reason that I can think of for the Trump administration’s taking all of the agency’s web pages offline (and ordering the destruction of documents that may be useful for restarting or rebuilding agency programs in the future) is that much of the information there counters the charges of corruption and waste that have been levied against it. Some of the pages that have been saved to the internet on the Wayback Machine show reports and photos of countless humanitarian programs that the agency was involved in, all carrying out the mission stated in the agency’s motto: aid from the American people.
I feel for those at U.S.A.I.D. who have lost their jobs, and for those no longer receiving life-changing assistance through the agency. I cannot understand why the rug had to be pulled completely, without any regard for those whose lives depend on that assistance. And why the need to virtually erase everything that the agency ever did by taking down the entire website? Are we now ashamed of the good that the agency accomplished?
U.S.A.I.D. afforded me and many like me an incredible opportunity to improve our lives and the lives of those around us as well. When I lived in Belize, I also witnessed examples of U.S.A.I.D. providing assistance in response to natural disasters. I had never thought about how remarkable that was; perhaps I assumed that U.S.A.I.D. would always be there, helping those who needed help and building good will for America by doing so. I certainly saw it as proof of a country that was indeed “one nation under God,” practicing love toward its neighbors and those less fortunate.
Now I feel as though some of my own history is being erased. But to those in U.S.A.I.D. who were responsible for my scholarship program, I offer my thanks for a wonderful opportunity. The world may no longer be able to easily see your achievements, but those of us who benefited still remember and are grateful for the good you did. I hope we see you again soon.
[Read next: “My journey from USAID officer to Jesuit priest”]
