My journal lists the names of 19 children this year who died after I spoke with their crying mother, their weary father.

The pope sent a telegram to New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan offering “heartfelt condolences and the assurance of his spiritual closeness” to those affected by the blaze, which killed at least 19 people, including nine children.

My parents instilled in me the lesson that no matter what life threw at me, God would always be there to guide me.

One way through grief is service. And as many of us know, from the tips of our fingers through the depths of our hearts to the bottom of our wallets, there are many ways to serve.

My grief did not unfold neatly or in any predictable way as the “stages of grief” might suggest.

I quit the choir, pushed away my friends and focused only on my anger toward God.