What really happens in confession?

I've only been to confession once, at the end of my RCIA class. I don't know if this is why some people don't go, but I wonder why it seems necessary to go to confession when one can ask God directly for forgiveness.

Crystal, did your RCIA go through the history of the development of practices of confession in the church? One on one confession in the church was not SOP for the first hundreds of years. The practice in the early church was pretty severe - it was reserved for the very worst of sins, betraying the christian community in some way, usually be denying it. People were kicked out and if they wanted to come back, they had to confess publicly to the leader of the community, (after a while these were bishops), pay severe penances and it was a one time only thing. If they messed up again, they were out of the community forever. Others might choose to confess when death is near, even if they did not betray the community through a serious offense. Basically, it was the Emperor Constantine who founded the imperial church that has persisted all the way to today, when he adopted christianity to support him in his empire building after claiming to see a vision of a cross. Christians were not very popular at that point, but Constantine needed their help,and later he made christianity the official religion of his empire. It was he who called the Council of Nicaea, because he needed the christians to stop their internecine fighting. The bishop of Rome (there really were no official popes until after Constantine) did not even attend. Constantine gambled, waiting for baptism and his once in a liftime confession until he was dying. One on one confession was introduced into Irish monasteries, as an improvement over the humiliating practice of the monks having to confess their "sins" in front of the whole community (still done in many religious orders), including others in formation. Senior monks were assigned to "junior" monks and they also provided a chance for private spiritual direction and guidance. A couple of centuries later, Irish monks introduced the practice to Europe. Eventually it became written in stone at Trent. There is no legal obligation for a Catholic to confess even once a year unless they believe themselves to be in a state of mortal sin, which is a pretty hard thing to do for most people. Just a whole pile of little venial sins. But some people look at confession as a type of superior and cheap grace. They go regularly because they seem to think that God's grace (available to all, everywhere and at all times) comes in "grades", like gasoline. They see sacramental grace as sort of high test level of grace and so they fill up regularly. It has not been my observation, strictly third hand and mostly from reading about those who haunt the confessionals, that much transformation goes on there. Which is the point. Although some people find a good confessor/priest and receive good guidance. In my experience discussing this with Catholics, a good confessor is a pretty rare find. So, as you note, the practice that may have been appropriate for Irish monks in the 6th century is not necessary for ordinary Catholics today, although it is helpful for some As you note, God does not need a human being to mediate. God alone can read our hearts and souls and God alone forgives. The man in the box may be helpful, but often is not, and so few people bother anymore. Also, at some point in Catholic history, confession to a priest really did serve as a way to "control" people, people who were often illiterate and could not read scripture themselves, and who were also superstitious, putting priests sometimes in an overly powerful position out of fear. These circumstances no longer prevail in most of western Catholicism. Some people like to go to individual confession and may have found a good spiritual guide in a particular priest. For the first 30 some years of my life I dutifully went to confession - monthly when marched to the church by the nuns in my parochial school, annually later, and, finally realizing that not a single confession had ever helped me in any way, and one was a downright creepy experiences with a priest who seem to be a bit voyeuristic in his questions about my husband's and my intimate married life, I realized that this man-made law was something I could easily forgo. So I stopped going. However, many of us need a trustworthy person with whom we can discuss our weakneses and personal challenges in trying to be better people. As a married woman, a mother, I found a great "confessor" in a close friend - highly educated theologically (although that is not really very important), a woman of great spiritual depth and insight, who knows me very, VERY well (since we were teens), and who can guide me to seeing things that I don't see in my own spiritual blindness. Since she is also married, and a mother, and living much the same kind of life and challenges as I do, she can get at the heart of things in ways that male celibates do not. Of course, I only have turned to her a few times, when facing some very complex challenges. I don't bother her with the little stuff! Perhaps if the church had married women priests, more women would go to official confession. I have not missed that particular ritual after I stopped going more than 30 years ago. I am, however, very grateful for the willingness of my friend to hear me out and help me see more clearly. The Episcopal church offers individual confession to those who want it. Their motto is "All may, some should, none must". Like so much in the Episcopal church, this is a very commonsense approach.

Ms Chapman, Don't know who 'we' are but when last checked the moral law and the precepts taught in the CCC still apply to Roman Catholics. Culpability is another matter. I am not a priest, but you might consider making an appointment with somebody at your local parish-DREs are well qualified as well. Grace & Peace. in Christ,