How do they do it?
This question often comes to mind when I look at parents raising a child in today’s world. What an awesome responsibility they face every day, as parents entrusted with the formation of life—along with introducing them into a relationship with Jesus Christ in an increasingly secular world. At the baptism of their child, parents accept the charge to be the first teachers in the ways of the faith. The home becomes that first and perpetual classroom for learning, with a steady stream of lessons to be taught and learned—without the benefit of breaks or snow days. Parenting is a 24/7 reality.
One of the more foundational lessons presented by parents to their children is surely the concept of the human heart. Looking back, I am amazed how my parents imparted this lesson to five children. I am equally humbled how my four siblings are teaching this lesson today to their own children.
While the heart is embedded under the skin and invisible to the human eye, its steady beat lets us know that it is there. Of course, in moments of stress, surprise or strenuous labor, the heart can skip a beat or even begin to race. We first learn that the heart is a physical organ essential for human life.
As we grow in age, our parents teach us that there is more to understand about the heart than just the physical sense. There are the feelings and desires, both heartwarming and heartbreaking, that emanate from it. What is more, we come to know that the heart has its own language that enables us to speak: thus the phrase “heart to heart.” At the very least, we learn that the heart is the well of love with a revolving door that receives and gives love with Christ as the source.
And yet, the Psalmist reminds us that our hearts can become dirty and poisoned when he prays, “Create a clean heart in me, O God” (Ps 51:10). Suffice it to say, the human heart is a precious but ever so fragile part of our being, one that can engender feelings good and bad. When these bad feelings (or, worse yet, feelings of indifference) emerge, it is as if we lose heart. Perhaps this idea of not losing heart amid trials and difficulties is the greatest lesson every parent must teach. No doubt, this is a lesson that demands not just repetition but genuine witness, for actions speak louder than words.
In Luke 18, Jesus tells a parable about the necessity of praying always so as not to grow weary. In some translations, “not to grow weary” is rendered as “not to lose heart.” It is important to remember, too, that St. Paul on various occasions encouraged the ecclesial communities to whom he wrote not to lose heart. The author of Hebrews makes the same appeal: “Consider how he endured such opposition from sinners, in order that you may not grow weary and lose heart” (Heb 12:3). One of the real temptations, then and now, for any human being is to lose heart.
‘Create in Me a New Heart’
In October of this past year, Pope Francis added his voice to this chorus of encouragement inviting people not to lose heart. The Holy Father issued an encyclical on the human heart titled “Dilexit Nos,” which means “He Loved Us.”
The first hint of this affirmation of Jesus’ love for us was revealed in Pope Francis’ apostolic exhortation “Evangelii Gaudium” (“The Joy of the Gospel”). Early in that exhortation, Pope Francis wrote the following about newness:
The real newness is the newness which God mysteriously brings about and inspires, provokes, guides and accompanies in a thousand of ways. The life of the Church should always reveal clearly that God takes the initiative, that ‘he has loved us first’ (1 Jn 4:19) and that he alone ‘gives the growth’ (1 Cor 3:7). This conviction enables us to maintain a spirit of joy in the midst of a task so demanding and challenging that it engages our entire life. God asks everything of us, yet at the same time he offers everything to us. (No. 12)
“Dilexit Nos” gives special attention to the human and divine love of the heart of Jesus Christ. Like a loving parent, Pope Francis is inviting us to reflect on the human heart beyond the biological sense in relation to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The Holy Father wants us to know the power of the heart beyond the physical sense, and its value for the good of the world. He writes:
A society dominated by narcissism and self-centeredness will increasingly become “heartless.” This will lead in turn to the “loss of desire,” since as other persons disappear from the horizon we find ourselves trapped within walls of our own making, no longer capable of healthy relationships. As a result, we become incapable of openness to God. (No. 17)
Our lives as human beings are to be centered in love for God and one another. “In the deepest fiber of our being, we were made to be loved and to love,” Pope Francis writes (No. 21). The heart is the locus for this experience of being loved and loving.
Pope Francis’ reflection on the heart gives flesh and depth to “a renewed personal encounter with Jesus Christ, or at least an openness to letting him encounter them” called for in “Evangelii Gaudium” (No. 3). An encounter is inauthentic without the heart. This is something for us to keep in mind when we meet Jesus in prayer. It is important that we bring our whole heart while opening that same heart entirely to him.
Devotion to the Sacred Heart
One of the ways we can intentionally and collectively grow in this heart-to-heart encounter with Jesus is through a deeper devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. “Devotion to the heart of Christ is not the veneration of a single organ apart from the Person of Jesus,” Pope Francis writes in “Dilexit Nos.” “What we contemplate and adore is the whole Jesus Christ, the Son of God made man, represented by an image that accentuates his heart. The heart of flesh is seen as the privileged sign of the inmost being of the incarnate Son and his love, both divine and human” (No. 48).
Imagine the graces that could flow if each Catholic parish or diocese made a consecration to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Such an intentional and shared act could yield a fountain overflowing with tenderness, compassion, mercy and unity. Like Jesus, we could collectively become to our families, communities and the world a love that gives itself as drink. The world is thirsting for this love. There is no more compelling way for us to respond to Christ’s love than to go forth and be that love for our brothers and sisters, especially those who find themselves thirsty and on the periphery.
On a more personal level, what if every believer were to present himself or herself consistently to the image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and behold Christ’s love for us reflected in his heart? I remember from my time as a parish priest a parishioner who, every day following Mass, stood before a statue of the Sacred Heart and intently gazed at the heart of Jesus while at the same time giving his heart to him. Any gaze at that sacred image should, despite the crosses we may be carrying, convince us that “He loved us.” It should also encourage us to love him in our suffering and pains in that same way.
Just the same, in our conversations and encounters with others we need to present our full heart and behold the heart of those whom we are encountering. It takes courage to be a person of heart. In fact, that word courage itself has the Latin word for heart as its linguistic root.
When we behold the heart not just in ourselves but in others, even those with whom we might struggle with for one reason or another, great things can happen. We can change the world, one by one, heart by heart. “It is only by starting from the heart that our communities will succeed in uniting and reconciling differing minds and wills, so that the Spirit can guide us in unity as brothers and sisters,” Pope Francis writes in “Dilexit Nos.” “Reconciliation and peace are also born of the heart. The heart of Christ is ‘ecstasy,’ openness, gift and encounter. In that heart, we learn to relate to one another in wholesome and happy ways, and to build up in this world God’s kingdom of love and justice. Our hearts, united with the heart of Christ, are capable of working this social miracle” (No. 28).
Perhaps that is the lesson par excellence that we are to master from our parents and pass on to the next generation: namely, that when we join our heart to the Sacred Heart of Jesus as well as unite our heart to others, miracles can happen. We can transform the world.
This mission to love our brothers and sisters is not easy, nor is it something we can do on our own. Pope Francis writes: “Love for our brothers and sisters is not simply the fruit of our own efforts; it demands the transformation of our selfish hearts. This realization gives rise to the oft-repeated prayer, ‘Jesus, make our hearts more like your own’” (No. 168). And we might add one more line to this prayer: “And may we not lose heart.”
The Gospel for this year’s feast of the Holy Family references the heart of the Blessed Virgin Mary, which is known in our Catholic tradition as “the Immaculate Heart of Mary.” Having weathered a parent’s worst nightmare, the potential loss of a child, Mary and Joseph find Jesus in the temple. Like any parents, their hearts were rattled, as evidenced by Mary’s first words to Jesus: “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety” (Lk 2:48). Jesus responds by letting his parents know that he had to be about his Father’s business.
Luke points out that Mary and Joseph did not understand what Jesus had just said. The family continues on its way. We are told, “and his mother kept all these things in her heart” (Lk 2:51). This reiterates what was already said in a previous verse, namely: “And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart” (Lk 2:19). Obviously, Mary took what she had experienced to the depths of her being and continued to unpack to the best of her ability the mystery of it all.
Sent Forth to Love
Very soon we will begin the holy season of Lent, which adds yet another voice speaking to the heart. On Ash Wednesday, the Prophet Joel will exhort us with these words: “Yet even now, oracle of the Lord, return to me with your whole heart, with fasting, weeping, and mourning. Rend your hearts, not your garments, and return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love, and relenting in punishment” (Jl 2:12-13). But when we come to Jesus, he is always there to love us, and in that love, he sends us forth as missionaries of love.
As we go forth to share his heart with the hearts of others in this time of Jubilee, there is consolation in knowing that Jesus is always with us. But we must do our part. In fact, Pope Francis states, “For this friendship to mature, however, it is up to you to let him send you forth on a mission in this world, and to carry it out confidently, generously, freely, and fearlessly. If you stay trapped in your own comfort zone, you will never really find security; doubts and fears, sorrow and anxiety will always loom on the horizon” (No. 215).
However, we are graced by the ultimate source of trust: “Never forget that Jesus is at your side every step of the way. He will not cast you into the abyss or leave you to your own devices,” Francis writes. “He will always be there to encourage and accompany you” (No. 215).
In other words, he loved us and continues to love us. That said, how can we ever lose heart?
